Now that we have said good-bye to busy, let’s turn our attention to a worthy replacement. The word I have in mind - when spoken softly - will create a rounded wave in your mouth, as it brings your lips to a sweet pucker, only to release into an ever so slight of a smile. This word in all of its meanings and connotations will bring back a sense of balance to a more present, healthier YOU!
Without further ado ladies and gents, let's welcome the word….. Boundaries!
And in welcoming the word, let’s also accept it’s meaning! This is where we might break off into two categories and I would be interested in hearing which one resonates with you.
Boundaries will either make you:
- Feel empowered
Depending on which camp you fall in - and we will address both - speaks directly to how familiar you are with the implementation of boundaries in your life.
It makes you cringe, does it?
You are not alone. And not to stress the gender gap, but I think that women might have a tougher time with boundaries than men do for the simple reason we feel it’s impolite. The people pleasers in us reject, and often suffer, with the word, “No”. Ouch! A hard “no” is harsh! Succinct in its two-letter delivery, there is no bend! None. It’s hard to hear it too. Our childhood was littered in “No, no, NOOOOO’s!” I get it, I have vacillated in both camps, mostly this one, though, until my physical health began to pay the price and I was forced to make changes. Therefore, if you are here, we are learning together.
How many of you feel, empowered?
If you are in this camp, Bravo! People who set boundaries with ease are less stressed, more effective, clear communicators, more compassionate (believe it or not) and for a lack of a better word, happier. This means you know yourself well. Setting boundaries in your personal relationships, at work and as you transit through life means you respect yourself and therefore you recognize and appreciate these qualities in others.
Think about a time when you have felt overextended, overcommitted and underappreciated. In such times it is easy to blame your boss, your significant other, or even your friends for your frazzled nerves, and yet…. (read this with all of your attention twice!)... NO ONE can betray us as deeply as we betray ourselves.
Go ahead... That merits a second go ‘round. NOBODY CAN BETRAY US AS DEEPLY AS WE BETRAY OURSELVES.
Part of setting and communicating boundaries is knowing them! This entails honing the most important relationship of all; the grandest love affair you will ever have; the one that builds the foundation for all other relationships... AND the one that will never end!!
Yep, baby! That’s the one with YOUR beautiful self! This is the most worthwhile personal investment, as well as the most neglected.
Let’s regroup, shall we?
Self-love + self-respect = Boundaries!
Low-self esteem + people pleasing = betrayal of self (no boundaries) :-(
Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.
– Brené Brown
I recently reached out to an acquaintance regarding a topic I wanted to discuss with her and she responded by saying, “..I’m feeling wiped and sleepy after my day, but let me check in with my energy and tell you tomorrow if we can chat..”
I was impressed by her response because it was so honest and it motivated me to want to do the same! We make so many excuses and apologies when honesty is so well received. This simple exchange taught me so much. Setting boundaries is a way of showing mutual respect and kindness.
Are you lacking in boundaries? What are some ways that you set boundaries in your life? How has it made a difference? When you share, we all learn! Comment below and if you know someone who needs to hear this message, will you share it with them?
By: Lisa Lopez, Content Creator - Realm of Caring